Relaxation Technique With My Obsession

I tried to start my morning out right, stepped outside before the kids awoke from their slumber and walked down to the edge of the yard and into the beginnings of the cornfield. It is here where I stopped for a few brief moments, closed my eyes, and held my breath.

For once in southwestern Kansas the wind was not blowing, just a small breeze pushing the leaves of the cornstalks up against me. I could feel the hairs at the end brush up upon my skin, soft, almost like a feather. Taking in deep breaths of the fresh, crisp, green. I thought to myself, who could not love this?

Slowly, I opened my eyes and turned back toward my house. Each step seemed to weigh me down, making it harder to go into the house, then leaving it.

You would think that something that seems to bring me so much relaxation, so much release, would help me start my day with a smile. Sadly, no.

Yes, this was my relaxation technique with my obsession. I love looking out toward these fields that are slowly turning golden. It is one of the few things that seems to make my mind cease all movement, even for just a moment. Pure silence, not unlike what parents feel when looking at sleeping babes. I wonder how I will feel when the combines come.

Once back at the house my routine had to begin, shower, dress, answer phone, talk to husband while doing hair. Not that I do not find any of these things displeasing, it just means my day is beginning, and the routine has started. This morning however was a bit different, my son awoke first, my niece was here, and Sandra did not argue. So we were all up and out the door early. A good start, and yet it was harder to drive myself and the kids into town then it has been in awhile.

Perhaps it is the longing to just stay home and stare at the corn, play with my kids. It is hard to let go of the things, even briefly, that give us peace.