Random, Lazy Thoughts

This is a list of random thoughts, incomplete and broken. My mind is not able to coherently combine anything tonight into a logical discussion. The solution, just write them all out. I tried to write logically last night and lets face it, that blog went no where. So I am just going to write as I think. Random, overflowing, overlapping thoughts that circle and twine together. The muddle mess within.

As I sit here drinking my beer my mind begins to wander. How is it that some are alive and able to be just okay in the day to day routine without living? My answer is that it is better then the alternative.

Speaking of beer, I never have been a big beer drinking. The past couple of months though it has been my poison of choice. Normally I would have chosen Tequila. The burn as it flows down my throat, the taste. Then I went through a Vodka Cranberry stage. Sweet, smooth. Beer, simple, cheap. Perhaps I am trying to tell myself something by what I choose to drink. I do not care for Coors, so I sit with my Bud Light. Light beer, seems to be a cliché’. Wait, Budweiser is no longer an American owned beer is it? That sucks. American companies seem to want to bail out on the American people or did the American people bail out on the American companies? Instead spending less for horrible quality and adding to the degrading state of our economy.

Our economy, I don’t even want to go there....how can we continue to pay illegal immigrants to do jobs and point to Americans and say they are just doing jobs you do not want to do. I call BULLSHIT. We just do not want to do them for barely nothing.

Nothing, that is what many of us feel each morning as we go about our daily routines, our lives. Wake up, exercise, eat, brush teeth, bathe, dress, commute, work, commute, home, eat, bed. Damn it sounds like an awful record. Music I do not want to buy into.

I love music. It is live poetry dancing in my ears. Giving my sense of hearing something to entertain itself with. Like the wind I hear blowing against my home right now. Through the empty fields, hollow.

The empty fields. I miss the corn. Silly I know, but I still miss the stalks standing outside my window. Stubborn, tall, fresh...now I get to see clouds of smoke from farmers burning the fields. I feel as though we are raping the earth.

Rape. I have been watching Sons of Anarchy Season 2, I think that is all I want to say about that. Damn Hollywood.

Time for another beer, they seem to go down quickly and quietly. How do alcoholics become alcoholics? Is it really something genetic? Are some of us more likely then others to get this disease? I am not an alcoholic. It only takes three beers and I am ready for bed. Unless of course I want to drink to get drunk. Then that is a quick adventure, usually with hard liquor.

I love the smell of whiskey. Not so much the taste but the smell. Sunflowers smell good too, lilacs. I want to plant lilacs. I cannot keep anything alive, no green thumb here...speaking of which, I need to take those dead plants outside and place the pots in the garage.

Random thoughts, this is how it will continue. One leading to another. Some lingering, some barely a flitter, not even a breath. Random, ever-growing game of round robin. No direction, this is how it is many times. I think it is healthy for me to pick a topic to write solely about, focus, direction.

No effort tonight, I am to lazy.

Lazy boys. I need a new couch.

Perhaps I that can be my reward for getting the housework finally all caught up. I am anxious for that to happen. I am still in this limbo of transition though. I know it will not happen over night. It will happen though.

Ambition, now my friend had her little girl in July and is running in a Marathon in Wichita in October. Wow, she is amazing! I wish I had that self discipline, determination, drive. I place her on my list of people I admire. I think I should send her a card and tell her that.

One of the things I am trying to do is to send random cards, e-mails, notes, texts, phone calls, anything. Everyone deserves to feel special, surprised, thought about. Best way to spread good karma is with a stamp!

Stamps, my one compulsive shopping habit.

This is a never ending cycle. I know it is not exactly post worthy, but hell, I may want to read it later! I will put an end to the typing and leave the rest in my head for now though. Perhaps tomorrow I can focus on a subject. Piece together real thoughts, sentences, logic and reason.