"When we are tired, we are attacked by ideas we conquered long ago." -Friedrich Nietzsche
Sometimes I feel as though my mind has to recircle thoughts that were once placed upon a shelf as completed, concluded, and catalouged for reference only.
What is it about my mind that awakens thoughts and memories? Some of which I truly believe should just be left alone. I wonder if these times of recollection and revisiting happen more often when I am going through spells of sleeplessnes or just tired, slumped with depression.
At what point in time can I, should I, force my mind to go from the chaotic mess it is and make it a rational place? Somewhere orderly, logical, with less emotion and muddle.
Being able to break it all down and say this is why, logically speaking. Thus ending the confusion and turmoil. Would it also end some enjoyment, thrill, and happiness? Does rationalizing everything cheapen the experience we call life? Knowledge brings with it a power, but could it also bring with it a sense of loneliness? If however, we are able to rationalize everything then we would know that we would not need to have companionship beyond the necessities.
Am I able to do that? Seems I would lose some sense of compassion in the process. Can logic and reason go hand in hand with compassion? Love logically cannot exist, but can compassion?
If we are able to rationalize everything, then perhaps nothing would be unexpected. At least once broken done. It would make sense. A happened thus causing B. Emotions are caused by the chemical makeup that...blah blah blah.
No, I do not think I can become a rational person. I am forever a chaotic, muddle mess of a person. My only hope is the knowledge I seek about myself does not make the chaos within worse. Just organized in a way that a cluttered, free-for-all, disaaray type of person knows how to organize. I wonder, does that make any sense?
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